Both men and Women cheat, it is not exclusive to either one of the sexes but Men will have to face a question that women will never have the need to ask themselves.
Are the children mine?
It took me an hour to write the above sentence, the very thought of it knocks me down to my knees. My son is three years old, and he is a wonderful, fun-filled, energetic delight. We also have a baby coming soon but while it might sound wrong I am more concerned about my son at present, maybe because I have not yet formed a bond with the unborn child.
My wife, has had over the last five years a sexual affair with a co-worker, It’s over, and we trying to figure out what to do next, she says that she is 99% sure I am the father because they used protection but not because she is certain about the dates involved. So that leaves me with a number of things to think about, I don’t know the answers and can’t offer any advice either.
1) Do I want to stay with My Wife?
a) Yes, I know this with complete clarity
2) Can I / We survive this?
a) Maybe, we can only try
3) Can I / We survive if I am not the children’s Father?
You see it is not necessarily the parentage that causes the problem, I am adopted myself, My Father raised me as his own with as much love and care as his biological children. I know I could do the same as I was bought up to believe that there are simply stronger bonds than blood. The actual problem is this; Should it turn out I am not the biological father, I can raise and love the children but I cannot and will not lie to them, they (and their father) will have to be told, everyone has the right to know and that would leave my wife and I in a situation where we are trying to start again with the other man around forever.
That is what I fear most, and whilst we will carry out the appropriate tests in the near future, I feel I need a little more time to be sure I want to be with my wife and to rebuild a bit of resilience again before opening an envelope from a clinic