I’m human, or at least I was before finding out about my wife’s affair, today I think I might just about qualify as walking dead maybe but definitely not quite human. My point is that I do notice the world around me, I do realise when someone is attractive or not and am just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to admitting that I have looked at people in the past and thought, wow your hot.
The difference is, I have never done anything about it because I love my wife, and I defy anyone who truly believes that rubbish spouted around claiming that none of us are immune to having an affair. Some of us are immune to having affairs, some of us actually meant what we said when exchanged vows, and some us will always have to listen to people weaker than they should be trying to justify their actions by quoting rubbish like it could happen to anybody.
Many of my readers, and in fact many who have commented on previous posts are actually people who have committed adultery and not those who are left in the wake of their actions, many are trying to rebuild the relationships and some are happy that they are out of them, I wish the very best of luck to those people trying to rebuild and ask them to try and understand this.
Do not try hiding behind a misguided belief that it could have been anyone because you made a conscious decision to do what you did, and remember that the person with whom you are trying to rebuild a relationship has changed. Part of them has gone and will never return, the part of them that loved so freely and so unconditionally, without fear of consequence has died. Buried in a silent service without ceremony in the back of their mind. Remember that to be forgiven for your actions only demonstrates how much you are loved and if you are capable of only one thing in the future let it be truth.
I wonder why I can hate the other man so much and yet am willing to forgive my wife. Surely this is hypocritical of me and they should both be forgiven equally but it just isn’t like that. I will always hate him for taking everything I hold dear and I can only forgive my wife because love has deeper foundations than hate and can withstand the siege, but whilst I still continue to love my wife it will never be as it once was, it will never be without fear.