Right now my state of mind is a little fragile, I have been waiting for the moment that something might push me over the edge and last night I almost (but not quite) came across it….
When a relationship goes through something like coping with an affair it would be fair to say that the relationship up to that point is pretty much over, sure you can start again, build a new relationship or walk away, none of which are easy to do.
My wife and I have decided to start again, after fifteen years together we get to skip all the normal parts of a new relationship such as meeting the parents and choosing new curtains but it does give us chance to set out a few ground rules of what to expect from each other in the future and of course there is the chance to change things that we once did.
Whilst not exactly a ground rule, and of course we have bigger problems than this, a pet hate of mine is when my wife eats toast in bed, it is no more possible to avoid getting crumbs in the bed as it is to chew water but seeing as we are starting again when my wife asked last night for some toast I agreed and went downstairs to make it. My lack of protest has probably got something to do with the fact she is eight months pregnant and we have enough to argue about as it is.
This is when things started to go a little wrong, to start with the medium sliced white loaf had been cut in all sorts of thicknesses so I had to find two that were the same so that the toaster wouldn’t burn one and simply warm the other, now I don’t want to mention where the bread came from but let’s just say that they were established in 1886 and by now you would think they would have learned to slice properly (and before you say anything I know wholemeal is better for you but it’s rubbish for toast, real butter is also a must)
So bread sorted out and toasting I went out of the kitchen whilst the toaster did it’s thing, only to come back a few minutes later to realise that my parents, who were round for breakfast, had changed the setting from “nicely toasted” to “burn” and I had to start the whole thing over again. This time to ensure no burning and aware the toaster was already very hot I decided to tilt it so I could see the bread inside and pop it out at the perfect moment. Cleaver eh?, actually no, what happens when you do this is that the bread sticks to the side of the toaster and doesn’t pop out at all, I grabbed a knife to get it out (remembering just in time to unplug it) and managed to salvage what was becoming a quite irritating situation.
The whole house now smelt of burnt toast I realised that with my current state of high anxiety that I was likely to wake in the middle of the night having forgotten all about it and the smell will have me believing that I must be having a heart attack.
I finally turned out the light, walked out of the kitchen and proceeded to fall over the cat who had apparently decided to go to sleep in the preceding thirty seconds in the middle of the doorway, only one of the pieces of toast fell (butter side down naturally) but we’ll keep that to ourselves.
And the point to all of this you might ask?
1st) A list ground rules and expectations will have to be set when rebuilding a relationship after an affair
2nd) not eating toast should be on this list although obviously it won’t make the top ten