What’s wrong with you

* Look at the state of you, of us. Have you seen what you’re doing to yourself lately? Have   you seen what you’ve done to me? 

The voice startled me, and I stopped in my tracks at the end of the memory filled hallway, as I turned my head towards the point of origin I saw a pair of tired almost grey eyes looking back at me, they were blue once I thought

 * What do you mean? I haven’t done anything, I didn’t cause this

* All this is your own doing; you have made me a nervous wreck. I had another panic attack last night, where were you then?

The voice was hurt, clearly a little angry, but was I really to blame? I looked into those grey eyes once more; maybe they were still blue deep down and just over tired of late  

 * What would you have me do? I don’t like the situation any more than you do. It’s not our fault you know

* Our fault? So it’s us again now is it, now that were talking about fault

* You know what I’m saying, we didn’t cause this  

* There is no we, just you, just you and the memories

I turned away from those grey blue eyes, the dark rings surrounding them seemed to be getting worse and turned to look at the hallway, the memories, all lined up, flashes in time made out of a thousand shades of grey, such beautiful pictures, a couple hand in hand, a beautiful woman in a white dress, others of a baby wrapped in a towel and man with pride in his eyes

* When are you going to get a get hold of yourself?  

* I thought I had, I told you before what I was going to do

* So you are going to forgive her then, forgive the affair?

* Yes I am, she is my wife I still love her

The voice sighed, it often did when it was being argumentative but sometimes I wonder if it was right, I tuned back away from the memories hanging on the walls, the black and white pictures once so vibrant with colour and looked back at those  eyes, they looked more blue again somehow more determined

* Do you think you can do this?

* I don’ t know

* Are you ready to try?

* Yes I think I am, I have to try

* What If you fail?

* Then I will have tried

I stepped closer, and looked deep into those grey blue eyes, the voices in my head were right, I did look a mess, the bags were getting worse from lack of sleep, shaking my head I carried on through the hallway to have a shower, everything always felt better after a shower, I looked back over my shoulder, those eyes looked back at me, this time with a grin, the voice called out as I turned up the stairs but it was too late I couldn’t see it any more. 

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5 thoughts on “What’s wrong with you

  1. Dear regular readers, whilst this post is on my usual topic, please don’t think I have lost the plot completely just yet, I have decided for a distraction to publish this as of the daily post weekly writing challenge, Hope you enjoy, regards “I”

  2. I’m really enjoying your writing, although it’s so raw it brings up things I’d rather not think of. Best of luck in your recovery. You have a lucky wife.

    1. Hello, Thank you for your comment, I am glad that you are enjoying the blog but sorry to hear that it rekindles memories, that part cannot be very nice for you. Stay well and keep those memories under control
      Regards “I”

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