From me, with love….

How long did it take you to cool down? I don’t mean how long did it take you to stop being angry or hurt, I mean how long did it take you to stop visualizing impaling the other persons head on a spike at the entrance to their home town with a  sign around the neck (or at least where it used to be) saying “CHEATING BASTARDS BEWARE”

Of course I haven’t done this, I mean do you know how hard it is to find a medieval spike nowadays? The local DIY stores don’t sell them and I’ll be damned if I can find one on Ebay but it doesn’t mean I don’t want it to happen, I still after all this time, hate someone who I do not even know with such a furious rage that it takes every ounce of remaining humanity to stop myself from driving to his house and dragging him into the street with a meat hook impaled into his scrotum. It takes every last effort not to post things over his facebook page or his twitter account (both of which were easily hacked) and it takes the restraint of an alcoholic in a brewery not to go and talk to his wife, who indecently works down the road and is (i think) oblivious to her husband’s antics.

Now before you all start telling me it is not possible to hate someone you don’t know you can stop, and while many of you are out there thinking well what about your wife? Do you want to do the same to her? Let me tell you that at times I do, but I have loved her my entire adult life and whilst that love doesn’t seem to be there right now to call upon I would never wish any harm on her or for her to be hurt in any way, I have said in previous posts that I would hand her over to another man and wish her happiness in doing so if that is what she wanted but it doesn’t mean I have to like the idea and it certainly does nothing to dilute the pure hatred of the other man, even the temptation of writing his name is almost beyond my ability to control.

So as you use I haven’t cooled down, sure on the outside nobody would ever know and I can smile at people as if they are the only one in the world who matter but below the surface, beneath the skin and bone which supposedly protects our soul I am burning with the desire to make him pay, to see him on his knees in a pitiful sorry state, I want to see his wife leave him, his children hate him and one day on a cold winters night I want to see him buried in deserted service where one day a car park will be built with the toilets directly above his head so the world can piss on him for ever more.

and so, to the messenger who didn’t want to identify themselves suggesting that we should love everyone regardless to their actions, this particular little post goes out to you.  (With love of course)


10 thoughts on “From me, with love….

  1. loved your lines about medieval spikes at the DIY stores. and to answer your question- how long til you stop fantasizing about revenge (paraphrase)? I am so not proud of my answer. It really is the hardest piece to let go of. It will be 3 years from d-day for me on July 1st this year. And as recently as last Saturday I had a dream about openly confronting and then inflicting physical violence on both FCB(my husband) and the OW. I embarassed to say it was a singularly gratifying dream. The good news is these days a revenge fantasy isn’t necessarily the first thought I have on waking. I’m sure the distance from those revenge fantasies after a betrayal like this one varies from person to person. I sure hope it goes away more quickly for the rest of y’all than it has for me. I guess it’s a sign that while I’ve accepted the affair, I haven’t really forgiven either of the players for it. The question that that leads to is- is forgiveness really necessary? Can you forgive the person, but not the act and still maintain a healthy relationship with that person? I wish this shit came with a rule book.

  2. Hi thanks for the comment, somebody (a fellow blogger on here in fact) once said that forgiveness is simply giving up your right to vengeance or retribution, i have yet to find a better description stay well regards “I”

    1. hello i’m new to your blog so forgive me if this issue has already been addressed…about not telling your wifes affair partner’s wife(bit of a tongue twister)why the hell not???? i being on the receiving end have made a pact to myself that i would never keep such a secret if i could find the partner i would tell!DAMN RIGHT I WOULD!! i refuse to perpetuate the cycle of lies and i would never allow another to walk in the dark,knowing that even though they are blissfully unaware,they are being injured in a brutal way..there is no doubt in my mind that the right way is to speak out the truth!!! if you saw someone eating something that will poisen them eventually,would you not inform them of the danger?It is wrong to know such a life changing,such a game changing fact and know that another is in clear and present danger,being deluded and blindly experiencing injury.You say it has damaged your soul..what about her soul,her husband is abusing her trust and fidelity,she thinks she is living her life one way but in reality she isn’t because she doesn’t have all the facts and she has not agreed to her husband on these terms.He is stealing from her even if she does not know it.You have a moral obligation to inform her,i could not live knowing that i have turned a blind eye and left someone in a dangerous situation when i could have done something…you are not hurting her by telling the truth,you are doing so by not telling.She most likely suffers but knows not why?She sense something is off but knows not what?If he continues to cheat,he could give her a sickness…what do you think she would say if she knew you knew but did not tell her.She would feel cheated,robbed, what ,even though the information is something she would wish is not true,she would still want to know.I will not keep such secrets.By doing so you help the cheater,you assist him in his deviant behaviour! take that woman a box of tissues,sit her doen in a quiet space when she won’t suffer humiliation and the as gently as possible give her the truth,set her free from the bondage of believing a lie,give the chance to choose for herself,an educated informed chioce based on reality.You owe her that,you are deep in her circle of life,she does not know but it changes nothing,by extention of your wifes affair you are in the mix..what will you do?Be brave,be cruel to be kind,stand for truth.In the end she will thank-you!!!!!!!

  3. If I ever saw my husband’s affair partnerSSS I would love to give them infested crotch rot, set them on fire and run them over with a bus and maybe back over them as well. My husband has definitely been paying for his actions, believe me. So far, none of them have. It really pisses me off.

      1. The “bus” is a long-standing joke with a friend. We call it the karma bus, LOL

  4. I am quite sure at the end of its life, my h’s howorker will die a lonely, excruciating death without any assistance from me but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t hit the skunt with my car if I had the opportunity. I would probably like to hit my h with my car for that matter but I feel we must have an ongoing relationship for the sake of my children. I am moving from this city shortly and don’t expect to run into it (pun intended) in the future but I don’t expect that my desire to cause physical pain will go away any time soon.

  5. it’s embarrasing to admit but this is the second marriage I’ve had where my husband has been unfaithful which seems to indicate that perhaps the problem really does lie within me but more so because I pick the same kind of me rather than I’m a terrible wife (but I may be wrong) – however I’ve always ascribed to the idea that the person who deserves to be impaled is my husband because he was the one who was married to me and owed me loyalty – and although their AP’s obviously are not saints they didn’t owe me a damn thing and it was my husband who chose to betray me – many sites say the anger towards the AP is because in order to save our relationship we can’t harbor that anger towards our spouse so we redirect it towards the AP and I tend to agree

  6. It’s very interesting to hear the hate that people spew about cheaters on your page. I am not looking to be hated-on, but I thought I would get a lot more of it. So far, I have had none (knock on wood)…

    I respect your decision to leave the “other spouse” alone — I believe that your reasoning is rational and well-thought-out.

    And, this might sound very strange coming from me, but I really enjoy reading your blog and your point of view… Thank you for sharing yourself with us 🙂 everyone has their own story…

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