Nobody knows me like you do

Sometimes it seems like my computer knows me better than I know myself, when I start looking for something on the internet the friendly suggestion box knows exactly what I was looking for long before I had decided for myself. Today for example, even though I had for no apparent reason decided to look up “Amazon rain forest frogs” no sooner had I typed out the first few letters my trusty search engine knew exactly what I was looking for which was odd because I have never even thought about tropical frogs before (if I’m being really honest I still haven’t and actually made that example up but you know what I’m trying to get at don’t you)


My point is, and yes I have one this time, is that somehow my laptop knows me better than anyone else I can think of. Of course this is scary because within a sentence I have started to refer to said laptop as a living thing, capable of  “knowing” and before long I will have convinced myself that it is equally capable of “feeling” and once I get to that stage there really is no hope left at all for real life any more.

So, if my Laptop and I, and to a certain extent my mobile phone which is really just a little offspring of my laptop (good god now they have started reproducing) are able to know everything about me why on earth can I not talk to my wife, after all we have been together so much longer and why does she clearly not understand the way I feel and the affect her affair has had on our lives.

I generally do not like the term D Day on blogs about infidelity and think that it dilutes a term used all those years ago on the beaches of northern France where so many lives were lost so that I could have the freedom to babble aimlessly about getting to know my digital companions, today is the anniversary of that day and thankfully few remain with us who can recall it’s true horror. I say thankfully not because I do not wish them a long and happy life but because nobody should have to harbor such images living in the back of their mind for the rest of their days, so before I get back to my own D day, let me take a moment (and please if your reading this do the same) to remember, and to remain ever thankful to those who left this earth fighting for us so that we could remain behind.

Apologies so such a sombre moment but I felt it necessary on today of all days and lets face it this blog is not really designed to make you roll around in laughter.

So as when I talk about my own personal day of discover (there you see D day not necessary, neither by the way is saying LOL, please understand dear reader that people know if they are being funny or not, and suggesting that they needed your confirmation with a LOL simply implies that you had considered that they would not be funny before they started which isn’t really going to do any good for someone’s self esteem)

I seem to be rambling, trying to avoid the point in hand, almost year ago today I found certain proof that my wife was having an affair, being afraid to be wrong I didn’t do anything for at least three more months and it was September before I finally had so much evidence that even OJ Simpsons’ lawyers would have simply bowed at my brilliance and left the court knowing nothing could be done.  As followers of this blog will know we decided to stay together and move on, amongst the various difficulties this throws up is communication, which finally after quite a long time of beating around the bush brings me back to my first point, If I can communicate with my PC, and through it with the rest of the world (all be it in an anonymous fashion) then why can I not talk to my wife. I do not know what to say to her, she doesn’t know what to say to me, we sit there in an uncomfortable silence neither one of us knowing what we “should” say and in the end we don’t make any progress, the net result of which is that after having already lost my wife to another I now seem to have lost my best friend of over fifteen years and that fills me with just as much sadness as everything else.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s