because you judge too…..

Sometimes I like to people watch, and of course the most intriguing part of this (and let’s face it the reason we do such a thing) is for no other reason so that we judge those who just so happen to pass us by.

Now be honest when you consider the following question, I know you will want to say you don’t but I do and you know what I am sure you do too.

So, tell me do you judge people?

Are you right now screaming out in self defence or maybe annoyance, thinking to yourself

NO I don’t judge anyone.

Maybe you really do live and let live, so do I, but it doesn’t stop me judging. Normally I do this within the first three to five seconds of seeing someone, I don’t necessarily have to talk to them or even hear them but it doesn’t stop me wanting to judge them anyway, I think it’s human nature and normally I am pretty good at it but of course I get it wrong every now and then.

Right now for example as I sit in my isle seat near the back of the plane waiting to go to the office in France I can see a young man in very short shorts and a blue blazer with brass buttons and a logo that I don’t recognise, his hair blonde and slicked back over his head, clearly it is much longer at the front than anywhere else on his head suggesting that he intended to look that way The poor guy has done nothing wrong exactly but he looks like a overly posh public school boy (to my overseas readers public school is in fact private school here in the UK and is referred to as such I believe for no other reason than to confuse people from oversees and therefore keep them out).

My attention left the soppy looking public school boy as suddenly as it started as I had to dodge a large canvas bag that was heading right towards my head, the bag clearly should have been checked into the hold as it was big enough for me to live out of comfortably for at least a month and I still have no idea why he was allowed to take it on board, as half a dozen people in front of me started rubbing their heads in annoyance having not seen the planet sized bag heading towards them I noticed how the owner had not once decided to apologise for being a complete arse and he was as quickly as soppy boy classified such and I moved on to the next victims of my judgemental morning.

It only took about ten minutes of course for the aircraft to fill up, any longer than that nowadays and they simply take off as fast as they can knowing that the sudden movement will force you to sit down regardless to your being ready to do so, within a short space of time I had identified at least three sales reps, four people who clearly had never flown before, at least two more arse holes to go with big bag man and weirdo who spent the whole flight with a t-shirt on her head.

And why all the talk about judging people you ask? Well yesterday we, (my wife and I) went to our first counselling session since her affair, we sat there for an hour answering questions about our lives, establishing nothing that we didn’t already know and leaving having been “sold” another six sessions with the assurance that it is the right thing to do and the only feeling I left with (and maybe I’m just being cynical) was that we walked into the room and the woman who introduced herself to us as a marriage therapist did little more than judge us as we walked into the room and fill in the order book accordingly.

So I think we all judge, but maybe I’m wrong but for the record, soppy boy, if you remember him ordered a Bloody Mary when the drinks trolley came along so I think we can chalk that one down as a correct call.


So if you’re having counselling, good on you, I hope its working. Personally I think there was more interest shown in my money than my wellbeing and I am not sure I care enough to be conned by another woman who ultimately wants to get the last word.


Stay well






4 thoughts on “because you judge too…..

  1. It is very difficult to find the right therapist, but you should feel obligated to her. There are many others out there, possibly she is just not the right pne for you two.

    1. Hi, thanks for the comment, I am guessing you mean Should “not” feel obligated. I am sure there are plenty out there but to be honest I would get more out of having a heart to heart with my cat, at least I know he want me for the contents of the fridge and not my wallet

      1. Yes…I just read that and noticed it right away: should NOT feel obligated. I know how you feel as our therapy cost 2k for about 6-8 sessions.

  2. I don’t think we should limit our “judgements” to a one time thing. Sometimes it takes two more before we have the correct information. Our first counseling session was an hour long and I was like a dam that had just broken. I talked for 45 minutes straight barely breathing. All the hurt and pain of 26 years marriage, affair, ministry etc just came flowing out. At the end of it our counselor looked bewildered and said, “Wow that alot even for me.”. I didn’t give him much time to talk but for me keeping everything in for years just having someone listen for the first time to everything with no secrets was just what the Dr. Ordered. Sincd them I am so glad we chose the man we did. I would say he helped my husband (the former wayward) more then me but I felt his compassion and love for us and the faith he had in us to make it. Let your counselor have this one as a time of assessment and see what she does in the next sessions before you give up on her. If after then you still feel the same seek another if you and your wife are in full agreement. The counselor was more for my husband and I wanted to make sure that he would not white wash anything but deal directly with what my husband did and he did just that but he also helped me not blame myself which was a huge issue for me in the beginning and called attention to areas I needed to correct. Towards the end I was just going once every three weeks and Lee continued. It has made a huge difference. I hope this works out for both of you!!!!

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